The Queen of Mean-Girls, Maureen Dowd

“We are in the era of Republican Mean Girls, grown-up versions of those teenage tormentors who would steal your boyfriend, spray-paint your locker and, just for good measure, spread rumors that you were pregnant. “

This is rich. Maureen Dowd is accusing the Republican rising stars of doing exactly what she and her counterparts in the media have done and continue to do on a regular basis. (Including spreading rumors about pregnancy and accusing Sarah Palin of actually being the grandmother of her own baby Trig.) The Queen of Mean herself is whining that the new Republican women who are shaking up the country are actually just plain mean, without citing any specific examples of the alleged meanness except some innuendo and one claim that Sharon Angle told Harry Reid to “man-up”. Anyone who has seen Harry Reid’s mouth firmly planted on the president’s backside might feel the same way.

Strangely enough, Dowd lumps Sarah Palin in with the mean squad that includes Michelle Bachmann, Sharon Angle, Christine O’Donnell and Meg Whitman. I found this particularly funny because of all the horrible things Dowd has said of Palin, I’ve never heard Palin respond in kind. Short of sarcastic remarks about the lamestream media and some biting jokes at the president’s expense, Sarah has been unbelievably nice in the face of so many attacks.

Dowd, however, could write a how-to guide for mean girls! Here are a few examples from her own writings on Sarah Palin that should get her off to a good start.

Mean Girl Rule #1-Ridicule your opponent mercilessly

Vice in Go-Go Boots? “The movie ends with the former beauty queen shaking out her pinned-up hair, taking off her glasses, slipping on ruby red peep-toe platform heels that reveal a pink French-style pedicure, and facing down Vladimir Putin in an island in the Bering Strait. Putting away her breast pump, she points her rifle and informs him frostily that she has some expertise in Russia because it’s close to Alaska. “Back off, Commie dude,” she says. “I’m a much better shot than Cheney.”

Mean Girl Rule #2-Call your opponent “crazy” and portray her as one breath away from a meltdown

Now, Sarah’s Folly “Caribou Barbie is one nutty puppy”, she exclaims and comments on her “exquisite battiness” and her “erratic and egoistic behavior”. Dowd also accuses Palin of suffering from a narcissistic personality disorder. In describing Palin’s announcement to step down from the governorship, Dowd describes it as a “solipsistic meltdown so strange it made Sparky Sanford look like a model of stability.” She continues that Palin “gave an incoherent, breathless and prickly stream of consciousness to a small group in her Wasilla yard.” And in a stunning replica of schoolyard bullying, Dowd continues her ridicule and vile hatred in the form of this taunt, “Sarah wanted everyone to know that she’s not having fun and people are being mean to her and she doesn’t feel like finishing her first term as governor.”

Mean Girl Rule #3-Insult her looks, her sexuality and her intelligence

No vicious screed penned to make your chief rival in high school cry for days would be complete without an unnecessary dig at the beauty you so envy as Dowd does in her article, Now, Sarah’s Folly, claiming “that dewy skin turns awfully thin.” Also, don’t forget to insinuate that your opponent is a whore, “maybe there’s another red Naughty Monkey high heel to drop.” And for extra fun, make sure you get in the insult to her intelligence and refer to her speaking as “girlish burbling”

Mean Girl Rule #4-Publish a letter you wrote that sounds like your victim wrote it making sure to throw in details that make people think of degrading sexual acts whenever they think of her in the future.

Sarah’s Secret Diary “I posed for a cheesecake shot in Runner’s World with short-shorts and a crumpled American flag that’s destined to be on the bedroom wall of every conservative 12-year-old boy.”

Wait…who’s mean? In other news, a kettle said to a pot, “Hey, you’re black!”

Methinks that Maureen Dowd should go back to just being mean instead of accusing others of it.

Flashback: In one of my all time favorite Hillbuzz op-eds, Maureen Dowd was described most hilariously.

“We live in a world where a certifiably insane woman who hides in her neighbors’ crawl spaces, eats their cereal, and rambles into a tape recorder in the dark has a nationally syndicated column, and whose opinions and ramblings are taken seriously by dozens of people.”

It warrants a revisit today. CLICK HERE

About Megan Fox

Stay at home, homeschooling mom of two
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