What Not To Wear: State Dinner Edition

Looking back at my wedding photos is a frustrating experience for me. One spaghetti strap kept falling down and no one had the forethought to tell me during the photos. So in half of them, one strap is hanging awkwardly. (Grrrrr.) It was a classic example of bad tailoring that will haunt me forever.

So should be the case with the most recent fashion disaster on Michelle Obama, (although I doubt it will haunt her since she seems oblivious to her bad taste.) What is the deal with this dress? Is it supposed to be falling off the shoulder? It looks like it just doesn’t fit right and she needs a safety pin.

UPDATE!! I was totally right. That dress was NOT made that way. She actually had her designer hack the sleeves off of it and skew it to the side! RIDICULOUS!!! Here’s the quote,

The full-skirted design of the dress — by Sarah Burton of the London house Alexander McQueen… originally came with short sleeves, which Mrs. Obama evidently had altered to suit her [awful] taste.

[denotes my additions]

Stay tuned for the slobbering, fawning media reports telling us it’s the most elegant thing they’ve ever seen.

UPDATE! Fawning media chimes in.

First Lady Michelle Obama donned a stunning, one-shouldered, red gown on Wednesday night for the state dinner

And again,

The asymmetrical neckline is incredible, and the red color no doubt a nod to China… Red is the color of happiness and prosperity in China, a fact of which Mrs. Obama was no doubt keenly aware.

And again,

In grand and sweeping terms, one could argue that it symbolized the ability of a designer’s imagination to cross borders, connect different cultures, and ultimately express itself in a singular moment of beauty.

Put more simply, Mrs. Obama made a surprising fashion choice, but ultimately, it seemed like the right one.

Scoundrels. Don’t get me wrong. It’s not the worst thing she’s ever worn (by a mile.) It would be very lovely with a normal neckline. I don’t understand her addiction to wide belts and asymmetrical necklines. It reminds me of that odd one shouldered inaugural gown she wore that looked like the designer had just slapped on that strap as an afterthought.

I would love to see Michelle in something traditional one day. She doesn’t need all the flouncy weirdness. She’s statuesque and adding all the willy-nilly frippery makes her look like she’s playing dress-up. It’s distracting and off-putting. I wish her designers would go into it with one word for inspiration. Simple. But is it the designers? Or is it Michelle? I think by now we can assume she’s calling the shots. (Apologies to anyone who took offense at the word “shots”.)