So, I finally left my house today, after a week of canvassing, blogging, web-surfing, because the refrigerator was bare and I have children to feed. Admittedly, I left the house wearing what can only be described as “extreme casual wear”. Yeah, it’s not a good fashion day for me. But it had to be done, and when you’re trying to keep a 14-month-old from pulling a dresser over on herself and a 4-year-old from having a meltdown at any moment, canning tomatoes and updating the blogosphere on current events, then, and only then, you can talk to me about fashion. Normally, I at least get showered and put on lipgloss…but not today. (Strangely enough, there was some study done the other day that said Americans would rather admit to infidelity than to not showering daily. Clearly, those people don’t have children under the age of 5. If I get a shower by 3pm it’s a win. And I know moms out there know what I’m talking about.)
With all the sacrifices us moms make, personal hygiene, hot dinners (Mom, you forgot the ketchup?) a good night’s sleep (visit me at 3am anyday…I have a vampire baby) it’s a wonder we can actually put one foot in front of the other. But we manage it. And we do the things we don’t want to do, in pajamas if we have to, to get dinner on the table and kids in bed on time. (Even if they don’t stay there.) We know what it means to work, most time without any recognition, pay or thanks. Most days, if we don’t have to drag a screaming child from a store, leaving a full cart of groceries behind, it’s considered a win.
I was just thinking how similar a job it is going to be in congress. The new people are going to have to go in, lay down rules, make sure they’re adhered to, and mete out some serious discipline. How fitting that a bunch of the new members of congress are moms. Mama Grizzlies to be exact.
Is there anyone in particular you’d like to see on the naughty chair? Barney Frank comes to mind. Imagine the temper tantrum he’s going to throw when he has to vacate his chairmanship. Maybe Nikki Haley could grab him by the forearms and go Super Nanny on him. “Barney, this behavior is unacceptable! You will sit in this naughty chair from now on. This chair that comes with no title, a smaller office, and less desirability in the dating world due to the power loss. When you’re ready to apologize, we’ll think about giving you access to the congressional showers again, but it’s not likely.”
Who else? What about Olympia Snowe? Going with the “mean girls” comparison that Maureen Dowd used, maybe someone could start leaving anonymous notes in her locker that say, “Enjoy the next two years of cocktail parties. They’ll be your last.” That’s what we need now. Ruthlessness. Not get-along baloney, “let’s all work together.” We need to kick them while they’re down. I fully expect Marco Rubio to get to the senate and report back immediately via press conference with every slimy, smarmy illegality he finds. I fully expect our newly elected members of congress to BLOW THE WHISTLE on all the insider garbage that we know is going on.
And can I just say, that if John Boehner doesn’t sell that jet, I will be through with him forever. Seriously. Fly coach. You’re not better than anyone, no one wants to kill the Speaker (now that Nancy is gone) and even if they do, that’s the risk you take when you take that job. You can have security on a coach flight. Do NOT make us look bad by keeping the perks. That will not go over well in mom country. We marched against the planes, the vacations, the huge staffs.
That’s another thing. Can we get our new reps to fire at least half of their staffs? This would be a very good first step and keeping faith with the American people. We sent you there to make BIG cuts and that should start in your office. And especially fire anyone who you didn’t hire! Get rid of those people who have been helping your predecessors rape this country!
But I’ve gotten off topic. I was talking about moms wasn’t I? Probably because that’s what I am and that’s who I relate to and I just think these moms we elected are going to do more for America than we even can guess right now. They are changing the face of feminism. They are stomping (in bright red stilettos) right over that dead, withered, old hag of a philosophy that only includes the ideologically pure women. It’s hard to describe the pride I feel watching it happening. It always outraged me that I could face all the same obstacles as the “protected women” (i.e. abortion lovers, liberals, lesbians and animal rights activists), like sexual harassment at work, being passed over for a man, being treated like an idiot by default because of my hair color, but I could never claim the support of any of these so-called “women’s groups”. I was a woman alone.
Not so anymore. Finally, women like me who love life and babies, pretty shoes, pretty guns and husbands, stepped onto the national stage and said, “Hello boys! We’re here to play.” And no matter how hard the establishment feminists and statists try to keep a lid on us by mocking, name-calling and displaying their deep-seeded misogyny, they failed. Huge. Conservative moms broke that other glass ceiling. The one below the liberal feminists where they stuck us in a box as untouchables, not “real women”, lower than the lowest.
I heard a big crash last night when those ladies barreled on through. Congratulations, girls. Make us proud!